Mr. Mind and the Three Paths’
It was after midnight and
three suspicious characters were hanging around out back behind Munchies’
Bar. This isn’t unusual because everyone at Munchies is a “suspicious
character”, ex-con, or a wanted felon. But these three were different
because Munchies hadn’t seen them before and neither had anyone else.
Around a place like Munchies, guys that aren’t recognized are potential
cops or feds. Fortunately, Munchies has a nice surveillance system (complete
with bugs) stationed back there for just this sort of thing. It also helps him
pick up job leads that he can sell to patrons at his bar. These three guys weren’t
saying anything though and it was starting to bug Munchies. They just looked
at each other and nodded. Suddenly, it dawned on him that they could be telepaths!
Paths’ weren’t allowed in the bar in order to protect the henchmen
inside from unwillingly giving information about heists and stuff that could
eventually get them killed! No, Munchies didn’t like that all.
Munchies sent Benny the Bellboy out to throw the trash and check up on those
goons. Benny isn’t very good at serving drinks or food, but he’s
as good a snoop as any ex-CIA suit. As Munchies watched the monitor, his man
walked by the three hoods and scoped them out as he scraped the plates off.
None of them paid any mind to Benny and they just kept doing their thing. Benny
walked by them and did “the test”. Being gay, the test consisted
of Benny thinking about grabbing one of the guy’s crotches as he strolled
by, and seeing if the guy he thought about would jump out of the way to avoid
him. Benny kept one guy in mind and approached him as he neared the back door.
Sure enough, that telepathic hood Benny was thinking about quickly leaped out
of his way and yelled “Fag!” The target didn’t pass the test….
They were telepaths! Munchies saw the whole thing on his screen and drank a
stiff one.
A few minutes later, Benny walked in and Munchies told him that he did a good
job and to take the rest of the night off. Mr. Malone thought about what to
do next. He couldn’t tell them to leave because they weren’t in
his bar and they were on public property. So he decided to find out what they
were up to. He got his cellular phone and went to the storeroom to call an old
associate…Mr. Mind. Mr. Mind was the only telepath Munchies trusted. Only
because he wouldn’t read minds during poker games and proved it by losing
his shirt a few times! Most other guys would clean you out after letting you
win a few games or get you the next time around. But old Mr. Mind almost always
lost big so all the guys thought they could trust him. After dialing his number,
the bar owner asked his mind reading buddy to drop by his place to check out
the three goons out back and find out what they were doing. Mr. Mind was older
than the average thug. Somewhere in his mid 60’s. He already had a nice
nest egg thanks to some big games he won in Vegas in the early sixties before
they knew about guys like him. Now all the joints in Nevada got their own mind
readers scanning the place for people like Mr. Mind.
An hour later, Munchies met Mr. Mind out front and didn’t even have to
tell him the story because his mind was instantly read the minute they met.
The plan was to throw him out of the place through the back door and cause a
scene. This would distract the three telepaths out in the alley long enough
for Mr. Mind to do his job. Minutes later, the plan went into full swing. He
threw Mr. Mind out the back door while screaming “Get out of here, ya
bum! Next time bring some cash, fancy pants!” Mr. Mind knocked over a
few cans on his way down and Munchies looked at the three guys and said, “What
are you looking at?” The goons just looked at him and one replied “Nothing,”
That was that. Mission accomplished. Munchies waited a few minutes and met his
associate out in front of the bar. “Well” began Munchies “What
are they up to out there?”
“Amateurs!” replied Mr. Mind “They’re Level 2’s
at the most. Being a Level 9 telepath myself I had no trouble reading their
minds and finding out their plan. Their plan is mundane…they plan on robbing
you of your sales receipts after you close shop.” “Damn paths!”
shouted Munchies “No offense, Mind. Damn. I guess I’ll have to hire
someone inside to off them. Who can I get? Anyone I send outside will just get
their mind read and send them three scurrying away!”
“Don’t worry about it, Munchies! I’ve already taken care of
it. Let’s go inside and check out the surveillance video and you’ll
see what I mean.” Munchies angrily replied “How did you know about
my….oh. Well, okay, but keep it low key because you know my policy about
paths’ and stuff. It’s one reason business is so good!” They
made their way to the storeroom and Munchies pressed a button. Suddenly, a panel
dropped down from the ceiling with different screens filled with images of the
bar. The two were watching the screen as Munchies poured them a drink. After
about ten minutes, the three guys started looking at each other funny. One of
them started pointing his gun at the other two. Then the others did the same.
They stared at each for another few minutes and not one of them said a word
as Mr. Mind just looked on and laughed. Suddenly, they all started shooting
each other! Next thing you know they were all dead. Munchies looked at Mr. Mind
and asked, “What happened? Did you force them to shoot each other? Did
you make them do that?” “No” replied Mr. Mind “While
I was getting tossed around I thought to myself “I’ll kill the other
two after this job is done and keep all the cash for myself.” In all the
confusion, they each thought the other was thinking that! I didn’t have
to use my powers at all. Greed and mistrust killed them all. Thanks for the
drink. See you at the next game, Munchies”
“Yeah, see ya. Thanks.” Replied Munchies as he thought “Freaky
paths’!”
“What?”
“Sorry. See you at the next game, Mind.”